Good news, people.

Despite everything your tortured psyche tells you to believe, as you wade through the murky waters of your twenties, everything is going to be fine!

And here’s why.

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1. Being single is amazing

Hailing from the generation who got married at 21 (gulp), there’s a certain societal pressure around Dubai’s singletons.

But forget that. Being single means both that you can still use the term ‘bachelor’ (winning) AND that your life could potentially change forever any day now – how exciting!

In the meantime, become your own best friend. You’re pretty nice.

2. Settling down is miles away, if it’s for you at all

The average age of marriage these days is 34.7 years.

For those of you in your twenties: great, that’s ages away. For those of you who aren’t: who wants to be average anyway?

3. Your body looks perfect

Eat your greens to stay healthy, but eat a burger to stay sane.

4. Other people’s opinions of you are irrelevant

We’re all guilty. But if possible, try to reclaim your freedom and be vulnerable again – it’s endearing. Embrace your inner Amy Schumer, and show us how great you really are.

5. Your love life is neither too active nor inactive

Do what feels natural, someone’s jealous either way. You do you, bud. You do you.

6. Living at home is a good thing

Dubai is experiencing a housing crisis people. If anything, you’re being good by just staying out of the way.

7. Goals are just made up and arbitrary

Remember as a kid you thought you’d be famous by 16, an astronaut by 23 and have an Oscar by 27? Exactly. You still have so much living to do, go buy those shoes.

8. You don’t have to be down with the kids

They’re dumb, forget ’em.

9. Being ‘seen’ in the right places is meaningless

Scrap what you may think of post-college life being all about cocktails in Cavalli, and tables at Mahiki.

You can’t afford that and neither can anyone else. Get yourself a shawarma and away with your notions.

10. The ‘five-year-plan’ question is the preserve of weirdos and losers

Also, planning that far ahead is useless. You should try fulfill your short term plans instead, like which burger place you want to go to for lunch.

(The answer is Shake Shack.)

11. A ‘real job’ doesn’t need to be your main concern

It’s perfectly acceptable to be waiting tables, babysitting or to still be figuring these things out in your twenties, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Sure we asked the whole population in a poll would they let a twenty-something run the country, and what did they say? Good one.

12. Drifting from old friends happens

Natural, unavoidable, and doesn’t make you a bad person.

And with drifting, comes reunions, which are so much lovelier than duty calls every weekend. Winning.

13. You can’t predict, nor control, the future

Clichéed, but true.

Living for the future forces you to put the present in second place. Yes, it’s brilliant to be concerned about what’s next, but it’s also brilliant to be in the here and now. For those of you stuck in the future, please come back, the present misses you.

Now go have a cup of tea. And a biscuit.