No one ever PLANS to go to Rock Bottom Cafe in Tecom…it just somehow, kinda, seems to, end up happening. 

You’ll be having a great night out; the drinks are flowing, the music’s pumping but the bar closes and you have absolutely no intention of going straight home. And then it happens, that moment someone mentions that old faithful “Rocky B’s is probably still open”. 

Before you know it, (did you even agree to this?) you’re rocking up outside the infamous American diner meets karaoke bar meets club…again.

Recommended

Here’s How Much It’ll Cost To Rent A Place In DubaiDon’t Leave Your Pup Behind At These Pet-Friendly Spots In DubaiThe Lovin Merch Secret Is Finally Out Of The Bag

Here are the feelings you’ll experience once you get inside…

Confusion

Why does the bouncer recognise you? Did you always have to take a lift downstairs? And did it always look so grungy? You’ve been here before but it’s a vague, blurry memory (this could well be down to the one too many shots you did last time).

Uncertainty

Downstairs, the band is pelting out some U2 classic but the crowd hasn’t a clue what it is, or in fact a clue about anything at all…like balance for example. It’s like watching a field of Bambis trying to take their first steps. This is not how you remembered it…is this even the right place?

Impulsive

You head to the bar and decide to order a Bull Frog; a toxic green liquid that’s synonymous with Rock Bottoms (if you haven’t tried one before, you don’t go there enough). Without even a second thought, you down it in one. Go hard or go home right? Er…NO.

Instant regret

Did you actually just down a Bull Frog? 

Excitement

You’ve changed…everything in here is soooooo good, right? “I lurrrrrve this song” is all anyone is saying.

Satisfaction

AAaahhhhhhh this is the Rocky B’s you remember so fondly.

Hope

YES! Tonight is the night; you’re in flying form and feeling good. There are PLENTY of eligibles around, you’ve just got to pick one.

Relief

You come to your senses soon enough to realise that future spouse material doesn’t lurk around Rock Bottoms at 3am.

Reluctance

The band finishes and staff are ushering people towards the exit; you’re in no way ready to leave the dance floor…”ONE MORE TUUUUUUUUNE”

Joy

Is that pizza? And it’s free? Okay, so you’ll leave the dance floor for FREE pizza. You wobble over and grab what you can carry – three slices in one hand, phone in the other. You walk towards the exit with as much dignity as possible…which is very little.

Pride

As you strut past the fools paying for a shawarma outside the lifts, (you’ve had your fill of pizza already). And you know a better shawarma place on the way home for your second dinner of the early hours.

Fear

Classic morning-after-the-night at Rock Bottoms fear…WHAT DID I DO IN THERE!?!

If you would like to experience these feelings first-hand, Rock Bottoms Cafe is located in Tecom, Al Barsha and is open everyday until 3am.

Call 04 4500111 for more details

READ NEXT: The horrible feelings that come with every Saturday