With thousands of expat teachers living in the UAE all returning to school this coming Sunday, the post-summer blues are almost inevitable.

After two long months of holidays filled with seemingly endless lie-ins and a serious amount of over-indulging, alarms now need to be reset for some incredibly unsocial hours. And as the beginning of term approaches, nothing but a future of wasted red pens, irrelevant post-its and inquisitive parents awaits. Bleak!

Here are the nine stages of grief teachers go through.

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1. Shock and denial

July and August have VANISHED and you’re barely sure if you can cope with the start of a new term. It’s hardly the end of the summer is it? Someone get a calendar out, cos your one must definitely be dodge.

2. Guilt

Lofty ideas of juicing, morning sprints and evening jogs obviously never actually happened. Nope, your ‘summer body’ is worse than when you started and rather than coming back fresh, prepared and ready for a new year, you’re now in a worse state than when you began… oops!

3. Anger and bargaining

Ask yourself. What would you give for another week off?

4. Reflection and embracing comforts

Nothing compares with the Saturday night fear. The ONLY consolation is that you’re certainly not the only one and thousands of other teachers (and probably most of the kids too) are in the exact same position…

5. The upward turn

Winter holidays, spring break, these are all good things…

6. Focusing energy

Flowing with new-found energy you make a run for the stationary shop and return, hours later and hundreds of dirhams poorer, laden with stickers, positive reinforcements and a year’s supply of stars and smileys. You also get a quick haircut and some new, uncomfortable work clothes. New year, new you.

7. Acceptance

You begin to think about all the other poor sods with just 21 days holiday per year…seriously, only 21 days! You’re one of the lucky ones.

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