31 crazy ways you’ve got too used to living in Dubai

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Blasé about seeing the world’s tallest building every day?

Indifferent about the 24-hour sunshine and unexcited by skiing in the middle of the desert? Hmm. It’s possible you’ve started to take Dubai for granted.

Here are some warning signs you’ve been living in the sandpit a little too long…

1. You expect five-star service everywhere you go…

Eh waiter, where is my McFlurry?

mcdonalds

2. Your group of friends has started to look like UN conference photos – yay!

friends-diversity

3. You settle in for the long haul when you’re visiting the Etisalat store…

massivequeue

4. …And confidently order food delivery to the queue

You gotta eat when you gotta eat. And that’s all the time.

5. You like to think you’re fluent in many languages

“Inshallah, mon amour!” OK, maybe conversational.

hello-bonjour

6. Your list of essentials for leaving the house has doubled

Keys, credit card, phone… I.D, medical card, passport, sunglasses, factor 50, water, flat shoes, bikini, deodorant, cash. Check.

Woman-dragging-bag-610x300

7. You’ve applied tanning oil in 45 degree heat at least once

lapow girl suntan w

8. You think it’s totally normal to spend the morning on a man-made beach and the afternoon skiing in a mall

skiing

9. You’re no longer impressed when you see supercars outside swanky hotels

unimpressedkanye

10. You think it’s totally normal to nip into the world’s biggest mall for some milk

dubai-mall-inside

11. You’ve become an expert at telling a Karama fake from the real thing

And judging people appropriately.

12. Having eight drinks in front of you at the end of a brunch is totally acceptable

lotsofdrinks

13. Your hair has struggled to adjust to the weird water, so you’ve spent a fortune on fancy conditioners

beyonce-hair

Fly hair don’t care.

14. You know you need to wear plenty of layers at the cinema

aircon-too-cold

15. You’re so used to the sound of construction work that you kinda miss it when it’s not there

construction

16. 20 degrees? Baltic! Grab your scarves and hats – winter has arrived.

dubaiwinter

17. Road rage is so commonplace that you’ve started to treat it as a form of therapy

And relax.

18. Sitting in traffic. To your left a large Range Rover with mum, dad, two nannies and up to six kids. To your right, a similar car, with a man and his pet tiger

cheetah

19. Seatbelts? Unless they’re being used to hold excess shopping, they’re not being used

Seriously, always wear your seatbelt.

20. You expect all stores, malls and cinemas to open until at least 1am

night

21. Bi-monthly salon trips are now rituals

Because bikinis can be worn all year round.

22. Mani-pedis and brow grooming are standard. You wouldn’t dream of shaping with tweezers yourself

scared

23. You’ve forgotten how to pump petrol

“It goes in here, right?”

petrol

24. You get excited about rain

singin-in-the-rain

25. You don’t go downstairs to the store. You let the store come to you

Even if it’s just for a can of coke.

26. You no longer use the indicators

indicator

27. You’ve started to get slightly less surprised at how hot it gets every summer

And you’ve stopped posting screenshots on Facebook.

28. You’re genuinely surprised if anything is sorted out quickly

In fact, you’ve actually started to allow time for the stuff you need to get done.

inshallahfry

29. You’ve realised that speed limits have no power here

They’re more guidelines anyway.

30. Admit it. You’re lazy

“It’s fine. The maid will clean that up.”

messy-room-2

31. Your AC breaking down is the equivalent of a natural disaster

“I’M NOT GOING BACK IN THERE UNTIL IT’S FIXED!”

air-con-broke

Now read: Which area of Dubai are you best suited to?

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