As election day is here, it’s pretty safe to say that we’re all somewhat terrified. A man with a long list of controversies behind him, Donald Trump has kept us nothing if not entertained throughout his election. Although we’re pretty safe in the UAE from his ‘interesting’ concepts, here’s a little look at what our beloved home might look like if we fell under his *cough* ideals. All from quotes by the Trump himself, of course! 

We are quite happy here with the existing set-up and the succession plan. However, what if Trumps statement: “Can you imagine that, the face of our next next president?” applied to the UAE? Here are 9 things that would happen. 

1. We’d have a giant wall built up around the city

True story: Donald has a thing about keeping people out

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2. He would rename all of our iconic towers

3. He would take over Lovin Dubai and turn it into a billion dollar website for a few dollars.. (please don’t let this happen!)

“We have a 5 billion dollar website, I have so many websites. I hire people here. They do a website. It costs me three dollars.” 

4. The Donald will officially appoint himself as the moon-spotter to announce when Ramadan starts

We’ve all heard those recent disgusting tapes…Trump thinks he can literally ‘do anything’

5. He would ban all soft-drinks!

“I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”

6. He would get rid of the great government we already have!

“One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”

7. Things would be even more bling here

“Part of the beauty of me is I’m very rich”

8. He would probably try and blame China for the Dubai summer heat

“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.

9. But what does it matter, because we’d all be fired anyway!