Dubai has its highs and lows, like any city.

But there’s a real VIP life here, that some people love to get involved in – anyone can be guilty of it at some time or other. 

And sometimes, thanks to the glitz of the city, people get a bit too swept up in the baller life, and get a bit carried away. 

It’s not all like that – we just wrote about how Dubai has soul. But, there are a few that thrive on the glamour, on the tax-free incomes and the five-star life. 

Recommended

Lovin’ Life With Farhana Bodi: It’s Time To Meet The Real Farhana5 Amazing Shows For The Musical Lover In You!Dubai After Dark: Must-Attend Nightlife Events Happening This Season!

You know the type. Here’s a few symptoms that might indicate that you too, have become a bit of a Dubai Wanker. 

1.  You can’t do anything without stunting for the ‘gram

If you’re going somewhere, everyone’s gotta know about it – and how fresh you look. 

Your Instagram is littered with pics of you in the Zero Gravity pool, looking away from the camera at the newest brunch, and OF COURSE, you’ve got pics of you drinking the Black Tap milkshakes, and in front of the City Walk street art. 

2. Actually, you only go places that are totally Instagrammable 

You basically plan your weekend around going places that you can get sick pics. You only went to SoleDXB for the photos, you want to go to the desert, just for the kicks (and pics), you only go paddleboarding for the photos and you love hashtagging the crap outta your posts #DubaiLife, #DubaiPics #NoFilter. 

3.  You love checking in to Emirates Business Class Lounge whenever you travel

And post a picture of that too…

Yes, I’m aware, that I too, am a Dubai Wanker. 

4. You drop AED600 on a brunch…every weekend

It’s not a question of ‘if’, it’s a question of ‘which’ brunch you go to. 

5. You get out of your car and leave it in the middle of the drive for the valet 

No need to drive up to an actual door here, just get out and sashay away leaving the valet dude to get your car outta the way. 

6. You moan about VAT but still buy the most expensive water 

VOSS, Aqua Panna, San Pellingrino – you’re not drinking that local stuff from plastic, for shame!

7. You don’t recycle because ‘it’s too hard’

To walk to your building basement to deposit the recyclables. It’s far easier to throw it down the trash chute. 

8. You’ve legit used the term ‘do you know who I am?’

Ugh – you’ve found yourself frustrated that someone isn’t giving you the recognition you think* you deserve. 

And this god-awful line falls outta your mouth… 

The answer is no. No they don’t know who you are, and they probably don’t care either.

9. You don’t go to public beaches – only beach clubs

You don’t want to mix with the general public – God Forbid! You’d rather pay AED200 to have a sunlounger on the beach at a five-star hotel thanks. 

10. If you can’t get VIP or VVIP tickets, you’re not going

Whether it’s a concert, the Rugby Sevens, or a nightclub, you demand a table, with service and a cordoned off area – otherwise you’d rather stay home thanks. 

Think we’ve missed one? Let us know @lovindubai in the comments!